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"Dear Google, does my boyfriend have schizophrenia?" 24. "Isn't that a symptom of schizophrenia? I must Google that." That's a basic misunderstanding of the concept of 'first sight'. "I wonder if it's still lust at first sight for them." 'Such beautiful hair!' he gushes with an outrageous, probably fake Italian accent."Ĭurse those gays and their fake accents. The palpable, magnetic electricity strikes again.Ģ1. "And I feel it – the electricity between us – tangible, drawing us together." I was anticipating full-scale Armageddon."Īt what point did you first suspect your boyfriend was a controlling drama queen? 20. 'Likely to provoke jealousy'? Maybe you meant 'insidious'. "I flush, and the undesirable thought that Leila could probably keep up slithers invidious and unwelcome into my mind."
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Like the sorcerer's apprentice I am, I let go, and we find our release together."Īs we recall, the sorcerer's apprentice was a cartoon mouse who magicked up a bunch of unruly mops to get out of doing his chores. My heart swells with a nervous, heady elation."Īnd a hearty joy in her head, presumably. Related: 32 creepy Grey extracts that prove Christian Grey is the worst 16.
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"What a time to have a brain-to-mouth filter malfunction."īeep beep. "I have a Christian Grey mix tape in the guise of a high-end iPad."Ī low-end iPad, if it existed, would probably have been sufficient for a playlist. "A small moan escapes my mouth as my insides melt and unfurl."Īn unmistakable symptom of Legionnaires' disease. like an island state."Įnough with the island states, already. "We don't have long, Anastasia, and the way I'm feeling right this moment, we won't need long." Thanks for explaining that basic punctuation. Mine,' he snarls, emphasising each word."